she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
