One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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