Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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