I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
