The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Farmville is her only friend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
