I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
