i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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