Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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