he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
be right there i have to get my cape
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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