finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
