Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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