I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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