my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
