At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
