I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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