the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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