We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
