Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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