I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
