Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
