worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
