so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
