OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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