Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
