Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
