hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
