I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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