its not stalking. its research.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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