whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
