I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
