you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
