never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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