Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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