party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
