that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
