Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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