How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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