i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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