Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
