he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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