Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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