Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
