and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Every concussion has its silver lining
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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