i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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