His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
