I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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