Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
