Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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