is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
