Non-Jews are for practice
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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